“There’s no such thing as ‘having it all – all the time’, says Sam Cowen of 94.7 Highveld Stereo’s The Rude Awakening and ETV’s Great Expectations, when asked how she manages motherhood and a career. “Some days you can get everything right, your work, the kids’ homework, swimming lessons, a good dinner and other days you forget deadlines and things fall apart. If you choose to work the kids will often see more of their nanny and less of you but you can work, be happy and feel guilty some of the time – it’s ok and it’s normal.

“The one line I draw is at having an au pair in the afternoons. Helen looks after my children wonderfully but I don’t want someone else cheering them on at school events. This is when I want to be with them. They don’t need me when they’re at school but I make sure I’m there for all the most important occasions. The other day I turned down an invite to a magnificent function, why? – so I could be at my son Christopher’s camp out. Of course I’d rather have been at the ‘do’ but he was really chuffed I was there and that’s what counts the most.

For Sam parenting was a role she thought she’d easily slip into but as she wrote in her highly successful book ‘Waiting for Christopher’ it wasn’t as easy as she’d thought. “The minute I fell pregnant with Christopher I thought it would all be cheesecloth clothes, secret smiles and rubbing my belly affectionately. Nothing prepared me for the 18 weeks of vomiting. But the thing is when it came to my second pregnancy, although I felt just as bad, I was prepared and knew there would be an end to this.

“It took me a year to fall pregnant the second time and so all I could think of was how lucky I was to be having this baby and even more so when I had a few problems early on in the pregnancy.

“Giving birth in summer was also so much easier. Getting up in the middle of the night in winter is no fun. Also the second time around I told myself I’m never going to have this experience again, I must enjoy every minute! Even going into hospital was so much easier – I knew what I could ask for and did. I said I wanted to be woken to feed my baby and wouldn’t take no for an answer this time and I had a nurse with me in the room. I also had a night nurse at home for six months which changed the whole experience for me.”

Writing her column for Your Baby magazine and hosting ETV’s Great Expectations has given Sam the opportunity to hear from many new mothers and the theme is often the same. “Loneliness is the word that comes up the most,” explains Sam. “They’ll say ‘I didn’t know it would be this hard or I feel so alone.’ It’s amazing that we’ve made such strides in technology but coming home with a new baby can still be so hard. The first time around you’re given so many different ‘bits’ of advice such as ‘let him cry – don’t spoil him’, which for me was a disaster.

“At least with shows like Great Expectations women can see they’re not alone and that there are lots of women going through exactly the same things. The other issue that comes up a lot is that women are frightened to contact their doctors when they’re worried – they don’t want to ‘bother them’. Nonsense that’s what they’re there for. One woman called her doctor because she was bleeding and his advice was to put her feet up! It’s not good enough – you have the right to say why am I bleeding?”

We asked what were the biggest changes for her in her professional life after becoming a mum? “I had to look at how I wanted my son or my daughter to view me. If you don’t set an example how can you expect them to handle things? When a colleague mentioned to me how he often had to turn off The Rude Awakening when his kids were in the car I realised that I had to change some of the ‘gutter stuff’ we were using on the show. I was now a parent and had to think of how my kids would view me.

But parenting is a two way street and Sam’s husband Martin is a ‘hands-on parent’. “Apart from fetching the kids the days I do double recordings of the show, cooking at weekends and reading bed time stories, he often gives me that hour’s break just so I can go to the gym or have time at a coffee shop – that’s huge.

“It’s so easy to get lost in the newness of parenting and there are so many things thrust at you. You must have the latest baby monitor, cellular blanket, such and such a paediatrician – each brochure offering something new. With all this you often forget the most important thing – love your baby and don’t be afraid. Pick one person you really trust who brings up their child the way you’d like to and follow their lead. Go with your gut.

“Most importantly, don’t forget your marriage. Make time to find out how each other’s day went. If either Martin or I find we’ve got a free half hour in the day it just takes a phone call and we can have child free time together – it’s really important.”

Finally what does MamaMagic mean to Sam? “Having a baby made me like myself! I used to be such a controlling person. I found you can have a full life with a sticky supper at the bottom of your handbag – it’s ok. One day I was going to the gym when Chris asked if I would stay with him and make mud. He remembers that day and I know you can’t get those special moments back…